One thing I am known for is bad jokes. I love bad jokes - shaggy dog stories if you will. My favorite came to me from my father who got it from his father and I still love it.
The Spirit with the Purple Tail
There was a family of ghosts - Pappa Ghost, Mama Ghost and little Johnny Ghost. Each ghost has somethin unique about him or her that sets him apart from all other ghosts.
Johnny's unique feature was his purple tail. It was long and scintillating and would flow behind him as he ran through the house he loved to haunt. He would often take his head off and put it on backwards just so he could see his tail flow behind him.
Now all good ghosts have to be in by 6:00 in the morning or something terrible would happen to them. And, like all young ghosts, Johnny kept pushing the time. One night, he was having so much fun haunting this one house - he would run in the front door, through all the rooms and walls and then out the back door - that he lost track of time. As he passed the back door, the first stroke of six struck and he said: "I've got time for one more run!" and proceeded through the house again.
Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! As the last stroke of six struck, he flew out the back door which shut on him and cut off his purple tail!
Johnny was inconsolable. He did nothing with his friends and just mopped around the attic all night.
Finally, his mother said to her husband: "Dear, you have to do something about Johnny! That kid's going to be the life of me yet. Please, do something.
So the dad gives his son 20 dollars and sends him to the liquor store.
wait for it
That's where they "re-tail" spirits!
Feel free to add your suggestions for penance, you own shaggy dog stories, or your own bad jokes in the comments.